I said I would do a
feminist response to the article and here it is.
Disclaimer: Opinions expressed here are mine and mine alone. I will ramble but I will make some sense 🙂
So the gist of the article is that it is the woman’s fault that her man is cheating on her. Her arguments are simple:
- You are fat
- You are an idle nag
- You have no sense of fashion
- You are lazy and boring
I think she made some sort of sense here by the way. The above are some of the reasons men will cheat, definitely. Why? Because men are visual creatures. Men consider dating a woman on two levels: 80% looks, 20% character. As for women the converse applies.
Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t so for ALL men and ALL women; the range varies like the rainbow.
BUT, I believe that if a man wants to cheat, HE WILL CHEAT. You could be ‘Vera Sidika’ or ‘Halle Berry’ and you will still be cheated on. So Njoki’s points only apply to but a few women and not all and most likely not for the above reasons. If someone like Jennifer Lopez could be cheated on, what makes you so special?
I feel that blaming women wholly as the reason why their men cheat is plain wrong. I still believe that reasons for cheating vary. I hate that she solely pointed out that women are the reason.
Women, don’t be fooled. BE YOU. Everyone else is taken. Don’t try copy pasting someone else’s ideas and livelihoods.
If you’re a curvy girl, EMBRACE YOU.
If you love talking, SPEAK YOUR HEART.
If you would care less about appearances, DRESS SENSIBLY.
If you feel insecure in bed, WORK ON IT.
Basically, I still hold on to the philosophy that how you dress says a lot about who you are. Your fashion sense says something about you. I repeat, men are visual. So they WILL look at how you’re dress and make judgements about you. I’m not telling you to dress FOR men, I am saying, DRESS FOR YOURSELF. Never dress for anyone else but yourself. No matter your body shape, dress like you’re gonna die that evening!
Love talking? Speak girl! Speak your mind. Don’t hold back just because he says you’re nagging. Don’t nag either; talk calmly and be clear. Be assertive. Personally, I have discovered that sometimes when I want to put a point across I appear as if I am angry and shouting. I am learning to shift that. But it doesn’t mean I will stop speaking my mind. It only means I am not perfect.
Sex is a gift from the maker. It is beautiful. It is even more glorious when it is shared with someone you love. Girl, if you love that man and you are sure he loves you back in equal measure (if not more!) then let go of all your inhibitions. Relax and let him devour you. Give him your all and take him up as he is. Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with though. Don’t let him take full control. Be yourself.
And that’s it folks. I am done. Appreciate your comments 🙂